'Diva Fever'
What kind of attitude do you have to health and beauty? Do you wait for new products with heart pounding or are you knee deep in ancient eye shadows and think that diet advice is only for those wishing to lose weight?
Take this quick quiz to see what sort of diva you are!
1. Mascara is a minefield, claims that you can look like a film star in two easy strokes make your head spin. What kind of mascara user are you?
a. Yours is caked and clogged and harbouring enough bacteria to be in the running to create a new strain of penicillin.
b. The day you opened your mascara is marked on your computer diary and you will receive an alert exactly four and a half months from now to throw it away.
c. Mascara is your go to product and you get through a tube in a few months by only running one at a time so you don’t end up with several dried out husks.
2. It’s time to examine the contents of your make-up bag - the one you carry around not the half dozen or so stashed away in cupboards.
a. You still have the stub of an eye pencil you bought in school – they discontinued it and you’ll never find another one as good. The liner fabric is smeared with broken blusher and leaking lip-gloss.
b. All the products are shiny and clean and some are still in the boxes. Packaging is half the thrill of make-up and those boxes bring joy to your heart. You could probably leave the house with less but what if there was an emergency and you needed that very lipstick?
c. It’s a bit hit and miss in there. Something old, something new, something borrowed from a stranger in a ladies room and something blue. Frankly once you’ve applied you will only touch up your lipstick and spritz scent throughout the day.
3. Summer approaches and its clear even without glancing down you are not at your fighting weight. You do one of the following…
a. Tear open another bag of kettle crisps. What the heck, you look like a beached whale so why not go for broke.
b. Clear the house of all foods and start a six-week strict regime of water laced with cayenne pepper and maple syrup. If it works for celebrities then its good enough for you.
c. Work out calmly that with some small adjustments you can lose roughly a pound a week, meaning adios to half a stone by the time you hit that sun lounger.
4. You’ve been feeling a bit under the weather and breakfast looms. You need energy and something easy to digest.
a. You slather a brace of toasted white bread with salted butter and double the fun with jam – it’s comforting and you need solace.
b. You weigh out 2.25g of organic oats and cook with water then place 6 blueberries on the top. Treating yourself to a teaspoon of honey seems an extravagance.
c. It’s an effort but you scramble some eggs and toast some wholegrain or rye bread.
5. You’ve heard of exfoliation and have read some of the hype but how does it relate to you?
a. You scrub away in every bath and shower and then roughly towel dry. It’s a bit uncomfortable but the lure of glowing new skin is enticing.
b. Having done the research you are aware of mitosis and age related advice and keep up with all new research and fall on new products eagerly.
c. It’s fun, fast and virtually free when you remember you do it along with your dry body brushing but in fact only manage about once a week.
6 There are some interesting words describing parts of the body being bandied about – saddlebags, kankles and knickles. Where are these strange sounding areas located on your body?
a. Aren’t these the names of things related to Thelwell ponies?
b. Of course you are au fait with all these terms and have spent hours working to ensure you have none of them.
c. Strangely you know this one and maybe have one or two and frankly couldn’t give a damn. Life is too short.
You have answered mostly A.
Seriously just a little more attention would not go amiss. Putting your best foot forward is not vain but shows pride in who you are.
■ Once your make-up is past its best be brave and throw it away. With the changing seasons and your own ageing process old colours probably don’t suit you anymore. Cleaning that bag reduces eye infections and is visually more appealing to use.
■ Don’t be miserable on the beach – constant treats mean nothing ends up being a treat. A little bit of what you fancy will do you good, a lot will mean wearing shapeless sacks and hiding behind large necklaces.
■ Be smart with your food choices when you are ill, that white bread may bring comfort now but is not going to speed up your recovery time.
■ Exfoliation is great, but over do it and you are harming the skin that then has to heal. Think polish rather than scrub.
■ The obsession for skinny legs is silly but we all want toned thighs and shapely calves and pert knees! Exercises done at home or walking will soon show results.
You have answered mostly B.
Calm down. It’s only beauty and should be enjoyed and used to your advantage not rule your day.
■ Mascara can last longer than you think if you don’t pump it full of air, close it tightly and only run one at a time.
■ You must be weighed down under all the products in your make-up bag. Select a skeleton kit of products that are multi purpose to carry around.
■ Celebrities can go on crazy diets as they have staff to do everything for them. Cutting back and cutting out the real baddies is good enough.
■ Feed a fever and starve a cold is just an expression. No need to torture yourself with worthy porridge to feel better.
■ The column inches dedicated to exfoliating are there to fill newspapers so take what you read with a pinch of salt and mix that salt with oil and lemon juice to increase circulation and speed up cell renewal on your legs.
■ You inherit your leg shape so relax and stop trying to rewrite history. If you exercise regularly you will achieve nice tone and muscle definition.
You have answered mostly C.
You sound fairly well adjusted and able to enjoy the whole shooting match.
■ If you want to vary your eyelash look then save the brushes from used up mascaras and mix and match with the one you have on the go.
■ Your relaxed attitude should not extend to sharing products with friends or strangers – stick to sharing hints and tips instead.
■ Reducing your food intake by a third is easy and requires no special foods or expensive books with painstaking menus.
■ Eggs contain vitamins A, C, D and E and keep you feeling full while giving you energy. Add in the slow release of the carbs and you should be able to crawl from bed to sofa to watch cooking programmes while you recover.
■ Have fun with making your own products - dig out back copies of By the Dart and polish your skin ‘home style’.
■ You may wish your legs were two inches longer or your knees didn’t sag but its not going to ruin your day – worse things happen at sea.
Happy Trails, readers, Happy Trails!
First Published October 2013 By The Dart
